so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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