Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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