got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
