Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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