Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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