Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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