weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
