Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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