they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
