somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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