...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
