...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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