Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
