I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
