i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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