If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Green mimosas i think yes
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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