BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
