girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
