We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
