i just google imaged poop.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
