foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
