and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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