i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
it was like eating out sand paper
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
