i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
