Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
