so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
