Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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