the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize