Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I can tuck mytits in my pants
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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