I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
