You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Fuck appropriateness.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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