I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
