i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
