As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
