The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The power of my boobs compel you
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
