I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
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