i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize