After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
