When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
