Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Pants are for mortals
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
