so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
