Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize