what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
