If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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