So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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