So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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