The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
