Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
