Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm at about main and main street
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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