this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
