I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
this boner is exhausting
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
