there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This is classic penis vs brain.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
