I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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