Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
