I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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