just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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