Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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