I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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