So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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