laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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