maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
