It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
